The Art of Slowing Down

In this post I talk about the Art of Slowing Down and how I learned to really hit that pause button.

I have been navigating this theme for many years already. A yearning to practice embodying more mindfulness and attune to my own pace, instead of the pace set out by others. It is a feeling beyond words, to be able to slow down and tap into the essence of creation. What wants to happen and what could happen...

When we think of slowing down we think of slowing down the pace of things. We think of it in terms of time. Taking time to make a nice dinner, driving slowly to the movies, or even taking time out to read a part of a book. These small acts ripple out onto the vast lake of stillness that is within us.

But what if slowing down wasn't enough? What if both slowing down and stopping were true? What if slowing down was more than just taking more time to do things, or taking no time at all..

Slowing down can often feel like we are rowing against the tide. We don’t see much progress. We want everything to happen now. It can often feel counter intuitive, considering the society we are living in. Slowing down takes practice. In a world where we are severely stretched beyond our capacities, the art of slowing down is a gift that we can give to yourselves over time. It is a very subtle art form, to want to notice where in life we are rushing and what needs more of our own unique undivided attention.

It certainly didn’t come naturally to me at first. My usual response to stress and high-energy is to speed up even more! I see danger and I go straight for it. When I began reflecting on my own practice I felt there was something missing.

Something so simple.

The Art of Pausing.

Put down that pen, put away the phone.

And meditate on your breath.

In essence you cannot stop anything. You can only Pause.

To illustrate this I will share an experience with you which took me to a deep profound realisation within myself regarding this topic.

I was with a lover, and I asked him to slow down because I wanted to feel more into the connection and experience. I thought I needed to slow down the pace because I could feel myself getting carried away with the Eros and wanted to connect deeper at the heart level. At which point he did. But I noticed I was beginning to get agitated. The flow and connection became disrupted somehow and I couldn’t figure out why. My body started to tighten, I was back in my head again.

It appeared to me in that moment that even though I had asked him to slow down, it was still not meeting my need. So I decided to slow myself down instead, and what arose in that moment was the truth of the need.

I asked him to pause. Stop all movement and take some breaths together.

That beautiful pause button was everything I needed in that moment. It was clear. A pause, is a pause, a universal word. One that we both understood.

The pause button is a reset for our monkey minds and racing bodies. The pause is so valuable for personal growth and evolution. Life doesn’t evolve out of high speed. Life evolves out of its own ability to reflect, listen and adapt. Without the slowing down, without the pause, we race into the sunset completely blind.

Because we all have our own pace to live and love by. We are not the same and that is the beauty of being human. It is a gift to yourself to be able to notice what your own pace looks like outside of the context of other people. Spending more time in your own energy, at your own rhythm can help to bring more clarity to this, and thus have your needs met more directly.

Below are some tools that I have found very useful and transformative when I feel the need to slow down and pause.

1.      Stillness – Wherever you are - street, car, restaurant, living room, garden, office. Pausing your movements for a few moments. Feel your body, your limbs, your joints, your jaw, your feet. Listen to your heart rate. Don’t worry, life will continue on just as you left it. You won’t miss a thing.

2.      Exhale – We can all inhale. That’s the easy part. Take a breath in now and count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.  Then exhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Those extra seconds allow our lungs to fully breathe out. Slowing down our breath slows down our perceptions. This is the first thing I do when I need to slow down or when I feel an urge to close up because of stress.

3.      Use that all important Pause word. It can and will feel strange at first. Embrace the novelty and awkwardness! Use the pause button internally to yourself or with others. Friends, lovers, co-workers, family, children. Try at first to say the word pause to yourself during an activity. Get used to saying it. Find your way with it, how does your body and mind respond?

4.      Listen – One of the 5 senses. Some things in life are out of our control. But what we do have control over is how we sense and experience the world. Where our attention goes, energy flows. Now as I type this I can hear the echoing of cars in the distance, the tap dripping in the kitchen, and the wind blowing through the bamboo in my friends terrace. I can also hear my own breath, the tapping noise of the keyboard. Sounds are essential information that can help regulate our nervous system when we feel rushed, stressed, out of balance or disconnected. Now name 5 things you can hear, and maybe listen beyond that. Listen beyond your immediate surroundings. What else can you hear?

5.      Naming – Naming your experience. Naming “I feel stressed”, “I feel rushed”, “I feel disconnected”, “I feel angry…anxious”. Naming what we are feeling as it is in that moment. Just simply note it. Then move on. No need to analyse or go deeper. Just note it. And move on.

I hope you enjoy reading this article and please share your own experience with the Art of Slowing Down.

Thank you for being here

Cara xox